7 AND A HALF MONTHS

I'm seven and a half months into my journey and feeling great.  I must admit I've bumped my head a bit along the way but I'm ok. This mornings weight 169.8 - closer to my goal of 150 than ive been in a very long time!!  I'm still working. currently wearing a size 12 skinny jeans purchased at Walmart on 11/1/14 ...

Stuck & Frustrated

I've not lost a pound in over a month!! UGH!! This is almost depressing! I had a great exciting weigh in the weekend of my birthday 8/29 but I've not lost since.
I know its partly my fault. I've gotten comfortable and started allowing things back into my diet. Well that ends today!! Its 5:23 am and I'm heading to the gym here shortly to do a bike ride and a lil time on the treadmill. I've got to get my head back in the game in order to get to my goal weight of 150 !! I'm heading into my 7th month and IM NOT DONE!!!

24 Weeks & a Birthday

Last week I celebrated two things.... my 41st birthday and a 70 pound weight loss.
I'm at 24 weeks post surgery and down a whopping 70 pounds. I'm so very excited and grateful for all this surgery has done for me and will continue to do for me in the months to come. My understanding is most people lose the bulk of their weight in the first year, hell that only means I'm only half way done. I've got another six months of weight loss head of me.  Although I'm completely aware these will be slower months than in the beginning i dont care ... loss is loss.
I'm only 23 pounds from my original goal weight of 150 pounds. That to me is the biggest blessing!!

A lil lighter

Woohoo down a few more pounds. On July 17th I set  a goal to be at 173 by my birthday - well today I am 175.6 so I only need to lose 2 pounds in the next 11 days and that will be another goal I can put a big fat check mark next to! Wow 175.6 - 25 pounds to go ! I'm get so excited everytime I jump on the scale!!

5 Months

Im just a few days shy of my 5 month post op anniversary and I feel amazing.
Current weight is 177.6 only 27.6 pounds away from my goal of 150. Gosh I never thought I'd see the day where I was down to a healthy weight and feeling great.
Its amazing the strength and energy I've gained during this process.
Tammy started this process a few months before me 7 months prior to me to be exact and now for the first time we weigh the same !! 177 and 178 respectively!
Im so proud of her - I'm so proud of both of us !! The idea of surgery came up on a whim - and the decision was not made lightly. I know for me - sitting in that seminar and watching Barbara Satterfield speak of her experience and see her transformation I just knew it was my best chance! I only wish I had done it a few years ago - but I'm a believer in timing and this was my time!! They say most patients will continue to lose weight for up to a year - I hope so that means I still have 7 months of transformations!! Those last 27 pounds will be gone before I know it!!

Boot Camp 4 Months Post Surgery

It has been exactly 4 months since I had the surgery that changed my life.
I am down 60.5 pounds and now I'm focused on toning up!! Looks like Ive got a lot of work to do!!

17 WEEKS POST SURGERY

Its been 17 weeks - I'm down 60 pounds and feeling great. My diet is completely back to normal and I'm feeling amazing!! For the first time in many many years my goal weight of 150 pounds actually feels obtainable -- 33 to go!!
Ive decided its best to set small goals for myself - so my new goal is to be at 173 - 10 pounds - by birthday !!

16 weeks 58 pounds

Well its been 16 weeks since I started this journey! 16 weeks since I started the mandatory liver reduction diet prior to surgery, and in those 16 weeks Ive been able to rid my body of 58 excess pounds that have plagued me for years!! I'm beyond over joyed!!
I'm 35 small pounds away from my goal weight of 150. And although I know these 35 pounds wont be easy - I know that they are possible!! This has been the most amazing journey - to witness not only my body but my mind change as well!! Who would have thought Id ever have this relationship with and control over the food or the amount of food I eat!! Not me, never in a million years. After all the diets filled will pills to be doing it with portion control and exercise is astonishing!

Now I'm struggling because although Ive lost a considerable amount of weight and i can see and feel it - my breast are an obstacle!  So Ive decided to consult a surgeon for a much needed reduction and lift!!

The Big 50!!!

I've finally hit 50 pounds lost !  Feeling great!  Now just to get these last 43 pounds off and I will be at my goal of 150 pounds!!

Getting There Week 11

Its been 11 weeks since surgery. I feel great and i have to admit I'm starting to look a lil bit better as well. I think i've hit another slump or stop - yesterdays weight was 194.8. But thats ok - that still 48 pounds and im not done yet. Id love to hit 50 pounds in the coming days but all i can do is put in the work and wait for it to happen!

Week 8

It has been 8 full weeks since surgery. I'm down 42 pounds - which is far more than I could have ever achieved on my own in such a short amount of time. When I started this journey I set a few goals not knowing if they were achievable, not knowing how I would initially do after surgery. The first goal was to be in One-derland (be 199 or less) by the boys birthday. Well that didn't happen, but I'm oh so close at 201.6 - so hey I may be there by Mothers Day!! My next goal was centered around the boys graduation which is June 14th exactly 37 days from today.  I would love to be down another 15 pounds by then! I've decided to chill out and stop rushing the process. If Im there then I'm there - if not I'll be so close it will still be worth celebrating. In the meantime I know I need to get my tail moving. So today I got up and did some stuff around the house and did 15 elbow to knee crunches - 15 regular crunches and 10 wall push ups. And tonight I think I'm gonna go for a walk! I've got to help this process get moving in my favor so here I go!!

Stall #2

Looks like I've survived yet another stall!! Ive not lost any weight since my last entry and then all of a sudden today the scale reads 202.8!! Woohoo looks like we are back to makin' bacon! I just may reach my  One-derland goal by the end of the week!

BOUNCE & STUCK

I've been bouncing between 205 and 204.6 for the last week now. Got to figure out something to jump start everything again but I'm not sure what to do. I do know its time to start adding in some exercise. So when its not raining I will take Sebastian out to walk the neighborhood - and I guess tomorrow I will get reacquainted with my treadmill!

5 Weeks Post Surgery

Wells its been 5 weeks since surgery - well 38 days to be exact. My current weight is 204.8 and I'm feeling great. Best thing is I am oh so very close to the 1st goal on my list .. which was to be in One-Derland by the boys birthday. My babies will be 18 in 5 days and I'd love to get up that morning and weigh 199, hell even if its 199.9 that will work and will count.
The main objective is that my weight begin with a 1!!

My ultimate weight goal is between 160 and 150 and once I get to 199 another 40 to 50 pounds sounds so much easier than the initial 90 I needed to lose!! Im feeling so blessed to have been able to go through this experience!!

4 Weeks Post Op

Well I went for my 4 week check up yesterday and I'm doing well and right on target.
Im currently weighing 208 pounds - that's 35 pounds gone!! I cant believe it!!
I'm now able to introduce more foods that will only make this process easier - I can have fork tender foods - chicken, fish, tuna -- so I can now start making some lettuce wraps and things like that.  I set a few silent goals for myself when I started this process - one was to be in One-derland by the boys 18th birthday.  That means I have to lose 9 pounds in 11 days. I'm not 100% sure I'll hit this goal, thats almost a pound a day, but I will be pretty darn close!!

            Here is a picture of me and my boys taken April 11, 2014 I'm starting to see it.

The Week 3 Stall

Last week I entered week three and went back to work. Both felt disasterous!!
Being at work all day versus home in my comfy jammies was torturous! I hated it, mostly because I hate my job and because I'm just not 100% yet!!
But the week 3 diet proved to come with its own challenges.  I introduced yogurt, pudding and mashed tators back into my diet and all of a sudden I stopped losing weight and stopped have bowel movements.  No fun on either front!!  I started adding a lil miralax to my drinks and finally/unfortunately yesterday everything finally came to a head.
I went to the bathroom for the first time in 7 days and it was horrible. Caused me pain in rectum - burning - bleeding! God I pray this is not my new normal!

But I got on the scale this morning and it looks like it too has started moving again 212.6 -- I'm down 30.5 pounds in 35 days - still nothing to scuff at! I'm still focused and ready to go!

Beginning of Week 3

Well its been 17 days since surgery, my current weight is 214.4. Just shy of 30 pounds!
This week I'm able to start adding foods like yogurt, mashed potatoes and fork mashed beans back into to my diet. Yummy, thank goodness because I was beyond sick of broth. Now the chore is to get in 60 grams of protein a day - this will increase my weight loss and help me not lose my hair. I'm really not trying to go thru the thinning game that Tammy did and from what I'm told it is avoidable!
I'm going back to work tomorrow. Wow work after being off for 17 days - this is going to be absolutely exhausting, but it will be good to get back into my real life routine. I've just got to be prepared at work to eat as often as possible so that I'm not going to long without some kind of intake and so I dont lose protein!

I'm adding pictures as I go along so that I can look back and possibly see the changes in my face!

First Day Without a Loss??

Ugh ... today is the first day since surgery that I can not change my weight loss ticker to show a loss because I lost 0 ... a big fat 0 -- I wasnt ready for that quite yet.  Most especially not after having such an active day! I got up and got moving yesterday and did a lot of walking. But I ended my day on what very well may have been my first mistake. PF Chang's Egg drop Soup! I'm not sure if it's something in the soup or maybe I slurped it too fast, but I ended up feeling very yucky and now I have a bit of a constipated feeling.
I'm hoping to have a bowl movement today to make this "full" feeling go away.

Todays weight: still 218.8
 
     My favorite but maybe not the best choice yet!!

9 Days Post Surgery

Well here I am just over a week into my new life. So far I'm at 24.5 pounds lost which makes me very excited... I'll be in One-derland before we know it.  Its so exciting to think that the major struggle in my life could be over. I know I still have to work and that I need to be disciplined and that's great, Im on track but to know that the healthy diet and exercise will work ... that's just the best.
I think I'm doing well, taking in enough liquid, and getting into a bit of a routine. But I have to admit I'm so excited to know that next weekend Ill be able to add applesauce, yogurt and beans back into my diet. I'm dying for something with some flavor.   I'm not hungry - I get an empty feeling that I guess is hunger, so I dump a little broth or a Popsicle on it and I'm good to go! But I'm ready for a bit full of something normal.
I have to be honest - I still have food demons!  I sat here yesterday and thought OMG how great it will be when I can have a hot ooey gooe toll house cookie fresh out of the oven. God I'm such a fatty!! But it will be ok - because I am determined to be a success and I will have that hot ooey gooey toll house cookie - but one maybe two instead of ten. Thats gonna make all the difference. I will enjoy my life and I will still enjoy cooking and eating but this will finally give me the stability I need to be healthy and make better choices than I probably ever have before!

today's scale reading: 218.8
         Below are pictures I took of my hospital meal and meal for the last week as well as  my cafeteria slip .. just as a reminder .. I'm a weirdo I know!

Settling In

Ok so I've been home 4 full days and I think Im getting into a pretty good groove with my liquid intake. Its probably still not enough but from what I've been told most people struggle with getting in the needed protein.   I'm doing my best!
I feel pretty good today - the past few days I've been very slow to get up and moving but today I awoke at 6:45 am, chilled in bed for a lil bit, simply because there was no reason to get up and now here it is 10am and I've cleaned the kitchen, started the dishwasher and I'm making this entry. Not  bad, most I've done without feeling wipped out!
The bathroom scale reads 222 today - I've lost just a hair more than 20 pounds ... 10 of those are per-surgery so I guess I'm doing pretty good.  That's 20 pounds in 17 days.  I do not want to squander this gift, this opportunity. I'm going to work very hard to be the healthiest me!! I've been researching high protein snacks and meals and found quite a few that I can easily transition into my day once I go back to work.  I'm not hungry now, and I'm told a true feeling of hunger takes a while, but I can tell when I'm empty and just need something.  Im not hungry but I do feel the need for something ... something that needs to be chewed or perhaps just a new flavor! LOL it will be easier - and I'm going to work. I will be successful!!

First full day home

Today is Sunday March 16th and it my first full day home.  I've got to get into a drink "eat" drink groove. I'm a lil bit sore and kind of lazy so I know I need to start introducing protien.
todays weight 226.8

Today's The Day

Well its finally here, the day I've worked and waited for ,  surgery day.  After  nearly 8 months, dozens of tests and appointments its finally my turn to go make it the OR.
Of course I've barely slept a wink, I think I laid down about midnight and here I sit at 4am.
I'm not scared, a little nervous maybe but that's surgery nerves, You know the thud you get in your stomach knowing they are going to put you to sleep to cut and poke and prod at you. But I just keep thinking of where I will (hope) be in a few weeks, months and at the end of this year.  Today might be a little uncomfortable, and the upcoming days will NOT be a walk in the park but I know in the end it will all be worth it. It will be worth it to not look at food as an enemy, to not cringe when a nurse says jump on the scale. It will be worth it to not feel uncomfortable in my own skin, to be a better healthier version of me and most of hell we have to admit the vanity of it all .... it will be worth it the first time I'm able to buy clothing and the size be only one letter of the alphabet or hell a single digit!!!
It will all be worth it!!!
Well time to jump in the shower and get Ernie moving we have to leave for the hospital in 45 minutes!! Today I say good bye to over weight Jen and hopefully this joke will be more funny than truth!!

The "Weight" is almost over!

As I sit surgery is 3 days away.  Thankfully I decided to work up until the very last minute. I believe had I decided to stay home the hours would have gone by at a snails pace and I wouldn't be able to stand it!
Ive had an interesting weekend maneuvering thru the LRD ! I was home out of my routine and I could tell!! Good new tho is I did not cheat!! Never not once ... although I have to admit I was tempted.  I maybe was not perfect, but I definately was successful.
Now to keep going just  few more days.
I've gone to the store and bought some essentials for after surgery - sugar free Popsicle - Gatorade - G2 of course - soup that I can strain all the chunks out of and I'm gonna sweet talk my BFF into going to my favorite Chinese restaurant PF Chang's and buying me some egg drop soup. That broth will be super yummy! Im about ready to go!!!

LRD Day 4

Still doing the diet - got to get this liver down to an easily maneuverable size. So far so good my current weight is 238.2 so I'm making progress.  Its not as bad as most people might think.  Of course I say that and I really just can not get the taste of these protein shakes. I think its because they are so sweet and you really have to drink it quickly, because once it starts to warm up its nasty!! I like mine damn near frozen and I get as much of it down as quickly as I can!!!



Funny for the day:

7 days 22 hours

Yep just 7 more short days and it will finally be my turn to go under the knife. I dont mean for that to sound flippant but I'm ready! I've had lots of conversations with myself and I know this will not be easy and I know it will be hard work. But its work I'm ready for, because it seems like for once in my life all the hard diet & exercise work will pay off.  Hopefully my days on the nauseating roller coaster will be over. No I'm not an idiot I know this process too will have its ups and downs .. good days and bad, but I'm not sure the worst days can compare with the "fat girl" feelings.

Today is day 3 of my liver reduction diet and my current wait is 239.0  :)
Its gonna be a good day!!!

Liver Reduction Diet - again

Now that surgery is finally on the books its time for me to start the liver reduction diet again!! So I have ... and I have a headache already.

starting weight 243.2

So Sick of Waiting

So my surgery was scheduled and then rescheduled ! I'm on the schedule for Thursday March 13th!! Only about a month later than I hoped for but it is what it is!! I'm so ready.

But because of my schedule/plan changes I stopped the Liver Reduction Diet and now its time to start again... and yes I'm starting over completely.  My current weight is 242.4 which is only a tad bit off of where I was a month ago.  Oh well I figure this is one of the main reasons I'm having surgery anyway - I have no self control and need discipline!

So here we go again!! Im exactly 12 days 21 hours from surgery.  I love this picture below - it so depicts my attitude towards the scale most days!

I'm On The Schedule

Finally !! After months and months of jumping through the insurance hoops to meet all the requirements I am finally on the surgical schedule!!
Surgery is scheduled for March 6 2014 @ 3:00 pm.  That will be the first day of my brand new life and I can't wait!

UGH!

This liver reduction diet is not the easiest - but I was doing ok - until "I feel off the wagon"!
Last weekend was difficult, mostly because I was not as prepared as I should have been.  And well quite frankly I'm broke!! Regardless of what anyone says a conventional diet is hard if you dont have money!!! But I'm happy to say I'm back on track now, and my follow up appointment date of 2/17/2014 is fastly approaching! Ok I'm saddled up and back on that wagon!!!

C to the P to the A to the P ... CPAP

OMG!
I picked up my CPAP machine on Wednesday and I hate it!
OMG - I woke up a few times just uncomfortable and had to yank the damn thing off.
I know everyone tells me its gonna make me feel better and It's gonna be beneficial to my recovery and over all weight loss goals but right this minute I HATE IT!
And I wont even go into how hidious it looks. I mean I'm not a vane person but even my cousin said I looked like a baby elephant -- wow thanks. Isnt that the look I'm working so hard to avoid??  She said it very jokingly by the way as she is 6 months into her weigtht loss journey - also using the gastric sleeve method.
Anywho that's my post for today ... just wanted to discuss the ugly that is my CPAP!!

CPAP - head gear for the restless!!  Ain't that sexy!!

I've Been Approved

I got an email from my surgical liaison yesterday and my insurance company has approved me for surgery! That means I'm done, I'm in, no if and's or but's about it!
Unfortunately, because of work scheduling and obligations I cant go in to see Dr Tyner for my follow up until 2/17 -- I was hoping for 2/10 but that's not gonna happen so no need to dwell on it!  So am scheduled to go in on 2/17 I will go into a group setting to discuss the surgery - and after care - then be wisked away to the financial office to pay for my surgery (of course) then to the scheduler to schedule surgery then to a check in with Dr Tyner. I'm so excited I wish it were all happening tomorrow!!
But with that being said I have 13 days before all that happens and a few more before surgery. Because of my extended waiting period I've decided to stick to the liver reduction diet, but allow my self a little wiggle room.  I mean I've got 13+ days to lose 10 pounds for God's sake and I'm well on my way.

Today's weight  237.8 I'm down 4 pounds as of today so that's encouraging!!

Be blessed!

This is me ....  this is the fat face I hope to change ....

Liver Reduction Diet

OK so now let the journey begin!! My packet has been sent to insurance as of 1/30/2014 - which means it should be approved within the next two weeks and I could be set for surgery within the next 14 days!! I'm so excited.
The 1st step to the actual weight loss is the per-operative liver reduction diet.  The intentions of this diet is to begin your weight loss, reduce the size of your liver for easier maneuvering while in the abdominal cavity and to prepare you for the life to come.

So I'm ready!! I got up I've made my 1st protein shake and its in the freezer getting as cold as possible.

Diet plan for this week:
shake for breakfast
Adkins bar for snack
hard boiled egg & 1 piece of dry toast for lunch
sugar free jell-o for snack
 and then dinner....

I may switch it up every other day and do the shake for lunch - we'll see!!

Current weight 241.1 pounds

The Waiting Game

That's the state I'm in, waiting.....
Waiting for the therapist to send in my psych evaluation so that my liaison can send my packet to the insurance company! Then waiting for the insurance company to come back with an approval. Then I will finally be put on the schedule and under go the surgery I've been planning for and waiting on for seven long months!!! So here I sit .. waiting.....

Last of the requirement!

January 20, 2014
Weight 240.8  by my bathroom scale.

Today I head out to complete the last of my six month long requirements
1st stop, meeting with Dr Tammie Moore - to complete my psych evaluation, this should be interesting. Then I have my very last weight counseling appointment with my regular doctor and then tada, to my own amazement I'm done!! I've done everything BCBS has asked of me.

This is just the beginning.....

So although this is not truly the beginning of my story it is the beginning of a scary journey I've set out on. I'm a 40 year old mom of twins. My boys are going to be turning 18 in April so as you might imagine I've been quite busy for the last couple of decades. But now that chapter is coming to a close.. No longer am I the maid, chef, tutor and chauffeur, now I'm just MOM! The boys have part time jobs, license and graduation is a few short months away and I've come to realize its my turn. Its finally come full circle and I can worry about and do for me now ... you know without any of that pesky mom guilt. So I've decided this is going to be my year .. my year of change and excitement. I decided to have bariatric surgery to reduce my ever expanding waist line. Please don't misunderstand this is not a decision I came to easily or a process that I'm taking lightly. I've been over weight since I was a young girl, but never like this. I'm not someone who can take care of this issue with sensible diet and exercise .. I NEED HELP! So the process has begun, I've had all my prerequisite appointments, gotten two thumbs up from a cardiologist, had a sleep study and ordered a CPAP machine to care for my fat girls sleep apnea and Monday I will charm the pants off of the Psychologist and I will be ready to rock and roll. That in a nutshell is the purpose of this blog. I want to keep a running record of my experience - my trial, tribulations and success. I wanted one central place where I could post my weight and pictures without too much public judgement. Although I'm not keeping my surgery a secret I'm certainly not posting it on a billboard. If someone I know well enough asks .... sure I'm gonna tell them .. but for those nosy bitches that just need a new topic of discussion .. no sorry you'll just have to be left wondering. So here we go!!! Today is Saturday January 14, 2014 I weigh 240.8 pounds - by my bathroom scale.

These pictures were taken so that I can see my progress - not exactly glamor shots!